You can get the song here, together with all my other music, the song number is 266:
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I have been hesitating whether or not I should talk about this, but I guess it’s good if you guys know why I’ve been absent.^^ The truth is I have been feeling quite bad for a while now. Not physically (although I did bite my tongue a few weeks ago so bad that I couldn’t eat normal for a week xD), but mentally. I did suffer from depressions already many years ago and they have come back to me kind of like waves. Some months, even years I felt better, others I felt really bad again. When I was in my teens I even got to a point where I became suicidal, but thank God that’s over for good. Especially because of Carina, since she came into my life I have never thought about suicide anymore, ever.^^ The depression stuff never really went away though, and in the past one or two years it has slowly crept back into my head, first I barely realized it but the past months it became very obvious. My mistake was that I tried to tell myself that I’m not depressed and I didn’t do what I should have done, which is to open up, let it out, and not trying to “be strong”, because it only makes you weaker in the end. Depression also has that really annoying side effect that it kills all your creativity, energy, willpower, all of it. I sat down many times at the keyboard and just stared at my fingers. I had nothing, there was not even the spark of an inspiration. That’s also why I didn’t make a new song for so long, I simply couldn’t. Not until I finally had the inspiration for this song right here, a sad, emotional song. And it took a long time for that. This is also what happened to me 5-6 years ago, and it helped me to feel better (I’m talking about the old songs like Death Dance, Beyond the Veil etc.). Anyway… making this song was really important, I feel like it’s the first step I’m doing forward again towards the light and away from the darkness. So I’m sorry that I was gone for so long, but at least now you know why. Please don’t be surprised if there will be some more dark songs than usual at the moment, I just think I need to let them out, it’s kind of like sucking out a poison for me.
I hope you’re all in good health and that you have a wonderful day, whatever you’re doing and wherever you are. =) Please don’t worry about me, as I said the fact that I made this song is the first step of healing, so the worst is behind. =)
Treat each other well and I’ll see you soon!
All music composed and arranged on keyboard, by myself as always.
The artwork was created by my wonderful wife, Aelathen:
© All audio material is copyrighted by Adrian von Ziegler.